INCEST IN NARCISISTIC FAMILIES

 

INCEST IN NARCISISTIC FAMILIES: HOW OFTEN THAT HAPPENS?

Childhood sexual abuse by a blood relation is a widespread phenomenon that has lasting negative psychological and physical effects in victims. A meta-analysis by Stoltenborgh et.al (2011) suggested that globally, childhood sexual abuse occurred in 11.8% of the population with girls being almost twice as vulnerable.

Further research data also highlighted the fact almost 2 thirds of those who took part never reported the abuse.In very simple terms, this translates to 1 in every 5 girls and 1 in every 20 boys approximately.  This phenomenon happen regulary in narcisistic families.  70% porcent of all parents sexual abuse may ocurr in that kind of families, and siblings incest ocurr quite offen in the same family.  When this happens, the cult o secret is the fund of trust betwin. The impact of such a boundary violation in childhood is not to be underestimated.  Firstly, it sets up a pattern of being exploited in relationships and a blue print for attracting, and being attracted to, predator types.

As we know, children idealise their parents and consciously seek to keep them on a pedestal. The child continues to idealise their abuser in order to maintain their own emotional/psychological/physical safety and most often learn to repress the discomfort/shame/confusion that results from being violated and used.

The brain may even shut off recall of these memories completely in order to maintain some sense of safety for the child. However, as many will know, the body most certainly keeps the score, as Bessel Van Der Kolk reminds us.

Bodily symptoms/illnesses and CPTSD are the likely catalysts for victims to begin searching for the root cause of their ills.

Secondly, alongside the drive to idealise the parent, there is also a denial that sets in.

Victims may find themselves more empathic towards the abuser than towards themselves. They often seek to understand and make sense of the act by seeing things from their abusers point of view and justify it as a result of the abusers own wounds.

In other words, victims are groomed in childhood to allow others to act badly and without accountability because it is easier and safer to do so.

However, it must also be remembered that children just do not have the words to express how they are feeling and nor do they have the information about what a loving parent is and so they are not able to make judgement.

But even if the child were to try to express the abuse, there is a very real danger that the family may not validate them or that the family will fall apart as a result. This keeps victims in silence, sometimes forever.

Another common characteristic of narcissistic families is that there is a tendency to ‘ignore the obvious’. For example: A mother may facilitate time between daughter and father at night time despite knowing that the father is sexually unsafe even for her.

She chooses to ignore it and may actively promote the relationship by saying things like ‘go and give Daddy a hug’. When this happens, despite feeling ‘icky’ the child is taught to ignore their own internal bodily cues in order to please others and to protect them at all costs. It creates a cognitive dissonance not only with the abusive act but also with the family as a whole.

Furthermore, childhood sexual abuse causes a disconnect from one’s body and sets up a lifetime of continued disconnect. Children learn to use their bodies as a tool to get ‘love’ and so there is often huge emphasis on maintaining the body as desirable, coupled with a deep core of shame for doing so. Some victims may struggle with weight gain as a means of protection while others become bulimic or anorexic. The drama plays out in the body especially.

In the Mind Map system, childhood sexual abuse is a Panel 1 core wound. As we trace the impact of this we see how it causes an initial reaction (way of coping) in Panel 2, followed by an internalised belief about oneself (Panel 3) usually along the lines of ‘I am here to be used’. Panel 4 tracks the very real chaos that results in ones adult life which gives rise to various defence mechanisms in Panel 5 in order to keep from connecting to repressed feelings. Panel 6 is the watershed and a chance for connection with the abused inner child. Finally this child has an adult speaking up for them and that adult is you! This paves the way for deep healing and release from the lies of the past and a growing desire to move on and set healthy boundaries.

Childhood sexual abuse is perhaps the most damaging of all abuses but there is great hope for healing.The Mind Map is a powerful means of doing just this.

 

Malignant Narcissist Mother: The true story of criminal sexual exploitation that continues to this day

This is the true story of how one person, my mother, was able to elude and abuse everyone she could sexually, psychologically,emotionally over 50 years.There are no boundaries to the abuse and she fooled everyone by their willingness to follow the myth that all mothers are good.This was the source of her deception and it worked well.This true story shows how one person can corrupt the decency of life for so many others.This mother took great delight in intentionally fooling everyone with their little minds.To this day family members are hurt.The ability of this mother to hijack her own children to defend her sexual deviant behavior by defending her at the cost of their own siblings well being and future shows how this mommy dearest has ties that are sinister and life destroying.The criminal acts she forced her children to do, the shoplifting for years that was notorious,the complete lack to protect them and instead exploit them is horrid.This mother tried to sell her own school age daughter into prostitution for political favors for the Minnesota Taxpayers Party in the 1970's. This.This mother slept with her daughters boyfriend,and ex-husband while our Dad died in the hospital.This mother has tried to force her son to have sex with her and driven people to madness.This is how she did it.This is how she got away with it.

 

 

"Narcisista, solitario y con ganas irrefrenables de matar"

 

Así describen los investigadores al presunto asesino del cuádruple asesinato de Pioz del que todavía no se conoce el móvil exacto. El crimen de Pioz (Guadalajara)  está resuelto y cerrado según la Guardia Civil que es la que está llevando esta investigación. Y eso que según los agentes de la benemérita, el presunto asesino del terrible asesinato no ha "contado todos los detalles del caso". Patrick Nogueira Gouveia, el autor confeso de la muerte de sus tíos y de los dos hijos de éstos, dos niños de 4 y 1 años, reconoce que planificó el crimen, todos los hechos que se le imputan pero no describe "la monstruosidad de lo que ha hecho porque tiene mucha afectividad a su familia y no quiere hacerles más daño".

 Así lo han subrayado la última hora de la mañana el teniente coronel jefe de la Guardia Civil en Guadalajara, Pascual Segura, y el jefe del Grupo de Delitos contra las personas de la UCO, el comandante Juan Jesús Reina, que han ofrecido detalles de cómo ha sido la resolución del crimen.

Los investigadores califican al autor confeso como "narcisista, solitario y con unas ganas irrefrenables  de matar". El repite que no está loco, dicen los agentes de la Guardia Civil, pero sí que reconoce que las ganas de matar se apoderaban de él.

Según los investigadores Patrick Nogueira no da detalles por ejemplo de cómo mató a los niños. “Dice que no recuerda absolutamente nada de lo que pasó con los niños". Si da detalles de cómo mató a los padres. "Entró en casa, habló con la madre y cuando estaban en la cocina le clavó una navaja", así nos lo ha contado, dicen los agentes de la Guardia Civil, en las diligencias policiales. "Después esperó al marido y le clavó la misma navaja", aseguran los investigadores.

Según recoge el atestado del caso después de matar a la familia, el presunto asesino ingresado en la cárcel se duchó en la casa, se cambió de ropa y se acostó para "descansar". Despertó a eso de las seis de la mañana y se fue de la casa.

Patrick compró bolsas de basura, cintas adhesivas y una navaja para cometer el crimen. Los escenarios donde se compraron los utensilios están localizados por la Guardia Civil. La navaja se encontró después en una papelera. Lo que no se ha encontrado es el móvil que el presunto asesino se llevó del padre de familia y que utilizó para  escribir un mensaje al dueño del piso para decirle que tardaría más en pagarle. "Quería retrasar la visita del dueño de la casa para que se tardase en descubrir los cadáveres". Los investigadores aseguran que él nunca pensó en volver a casa para llevarse los cuerpos de la casa, algo que ponen en duda los investigadores que están convencidos de que quería esconder los cuerpos.

Lo que no está claro es el móvil del asesinato. Todo apunta a malas relaciones con el tío a "una animadversión que se ha visto en varias situaciones" a lo largo de la declaración. Los investigadores dudan de que se tratase de un asunto sentimental y barajan más la hipótesis de que tuviese mala relación con el tío.

La Guardia Civil ha desvelado que en las negociaciones que se mantuvieron con el abogado y con la hermana de Nogueira para convencerle de que su condena sería más llevable en una cárcel de España, se le ofreció la posibilidad de llevarle a un tercer país antes de llegar a España. Sin embargo el presunto asesino prefirió venir directamente para no dar ningún problema a su familia en Brasil.